.:all i need is 100 pounds:.

So I am sitting in Kansas City International Airport, finally taking a breather after a jam-packed day and a half.

Now this jam-packedness, if you will, is pretty much due to my executing procrastination at it’s finest.

Who would attempt to pack for a 3-month internship in pretty much one day? I would.

But I think that’s how I work best, under pressure with no time to kill. In a way it shows how well I know myself. When I have a bunch of time on my hands, I do tend to kill it instead of using it productively. But everyone has their shortcomings – for me, I am on the long road toward discovering the lost art of time management.

And yet I somehow made it here with my life packed away in two suitcases (each with a 50-pound limit by the way)

Haha, and on that note, you know how stores have sales where if you can fit all of your stuff in one bag, you get whatever discount they’re advertising? I definitely think that airlines should do that too instead of this “50 pounds or less or we’ll charge you a $90 fee” scam. If it all fits I should be able to take it. I was so proud of the way I was able to fit so much stuff in such a small space, and at 5:30 this morning Delta crushed any joy I had by telling me I had to get rid of 17-pounds worth of my stuff. 5:30 was way too early for me to have to make a decision like that. But I did, and all I can say is it was slightly devastating. I had to hand over pretty much all of my hygiene stuff and a few other random items to my dad. It wouldn’t have been so bad had I not just bought pretty much all of it just the other day.

I just felt bad for the baggage check lady who has to tell people this all of the time. Luckily, I’m not much of a confrontational person and my dad was there to take everything I couldn’t bring with me. But what about the people who come to the airport alone?

The funny thing about the situation is that I was just talking to a friend of mine yesterday about this cleansing process the Lord is taking both of us through. This idea of detaching from material possessions and depending on God sounds great – in theory. But when you actually have to physically cut yourself off, in that moment it’s not so appealing anymore.

It only seems fitting though that I would be tested in this way. God has been pruning this part of myself quite intensely since around August of last year. Through various experiences, He began to convict me of my idolization of money and material things and I began to see through that conviction that He was more than enough for me. Needless to say, there was one point that I lasted 3 weeks with only $9 in my bank account. I survived because money, food, shelter, clothes, etc are not the source of life, God is. He only uses those things as a means to give it to us. So of course if I only see my current situation as my only reality, rather than as a part of a much larger picture, then I let bitterness and anger plague me and thus ruin what is to be a wonderful day of beginnings for me.

So I have all of my baggage, and inside is everything I need. I don’t need anymore and I could probably go without much less. God has blessed me and I must get over myself and my minor devastations to see the beauty in what He is doing in my life.

So now, I journey forward to find out how to get from here to where I’m going.

I’m sure a shuttle will do the trick.

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